On a tour of England, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit
the North West coast. His 4x4 Pope-Mobile was driving along the golden
sands when there was an enormous commotion. They rushed to see what
it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside
the surf, a hapless man wearing a United football jersey, struggling
frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing City tops
roared into view. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim at the
shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The
other two reached out and pulled the Red from the water and then,
using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the speedboat
along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when
they heard frantic calling from the shore. It was the Pope, summoning
them to the beach. Upon reaching land, the Pope went into raptures
about the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave
actions. I'd heard there were racist, xenophobic people trying to
divide City and United but now I have seen with my own eyes this is
not true. I can see your society is a truly enlightened example of
tribal harmony which could serve as a model for other nations."
He blessed them all and drove off. As he departed, the harpoonist
asked the others, "Who was that?!" "That," one answered, "was his
Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access
to all God's wisdom." "Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f**k
all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up or do we need to
get another one?"